When successful people are asked about the secret to their achievements, they often cite their parents as one of the keys to their personal accomplishments. This shows that parents have a major power to shape the personality and, thus, the future of a child. But there is no single way to raise a child and like everything else, different opinions exist as to what may be the best parenting style. The experts have identified four major parenting styles which are authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting, permissive parenting, and uninvolved parenting (Cherry). Of these four, authoritative parenting style is arguably the best parenting style because it doesn’t go to the extreme like other parenting styles but instead strike a delicate balance between rules and freedom to explore.
Children do not have the maturity or experiences to make qualified judgments. Thus, authoritative parenting makes up for this by setting guidelines and rules to shape children’s behavior. But at the same time, western society doesn’t strive for total conformance to the traditional rules and desires only obedient citizens which are more a characteristic of communist societies. To ensure that our young people turn into creative minds and are not afraid to challenge the conventional norms as adults, we should provide them with an environment that allows them to explore on their own. Authoritative parenting also encourages children to think critically and have an open mind because children are not merely given instructions but also explained the rationale behind those instructions (Foundations Counselling, Inc.). This approach has several advantages as opposed to authoritarian parenting where explanations do not accompany instruction. While both authoritarian and authoritative parenting may achieve the objective of compliance with a particular rule, authoritative parenting does so with greater benefits. First of all, the relationship between the parent and the child remains strong because a child doesn’t feel he is being ordered around. Second, the compliance level in authoritative parenting may be higher due to the simple fact that a child actually understands the benefits.
Use your promo and get a custom paper on
"Authoritative Parenting".
The fact that authoritative parenting may achieve better compliance record than authoritarian parenting despite lower use of intimidation has also been confirmed by research. A study published in the Health Education & Behavior found that authoritative parenting was associated with lower probability of adopting smoking by a child. This is because authoritative parenting has positive co-relation with child competencies and child competencies have negative relationship with smoking adoption (Jackson, Bee-Gates and Henriksen). The study’s finding doesn’t surprise me because I know this from personal experience. My father is a smoker yet my parents have traditionally employed authoritative parenting style. In contrast, I have a cousin whose father doesn’t smoke but has raised his children under authoritarian parenting style. Even though the probability of mine taking smoking was higher than my cousin, I have managed to stay away from smoking while my cousin smokes. I would also like to point out the fact that my cousin had an impressive academic track record in middle school but now doesn’t even have a GED while I am pursuing college education. Mine and my cousin’s evolution may have been shaped by several factors but I consider our parents’ respective parenting styles to be one of the most important factors that have shaped me and my cousin.
Authoritative parenting is also superior to other parenting styles because it better prepares children for the real world. First of all, it helps raise children that are better suited to our every-changing world. Second, authoritative parenting style teaches children valuable social skills (Foundations Counselling, Inc.) which are increasingly becoming important in the age of globalization. Third, authoritative parenting style result in more fulfilling childhood and children who have had happy childhood may be more optimistic about their future.
Like other parenting styles, authoritative parenting style also has its fair share of criticisms. One of the criticisms is that the view that authoritative parenting is the optimal style has cultural bias. After all, Asian Americans such as American Indians and American Koreans are quite successful in America even though the dominant parenting style in Indian and South Korean cultures is not authoritative but authoritarian parenting style. While the critics may be right about the success of Asian Americans in America, they are not looking at the full picture. Academic achievements are important but they do not paint the whole picture. In fact, one of the observations in Corporate America is the lack of Asian Americans in leadership positions. A Korean-American writer Wesley Yang wrote an article in New York magazine in which he cited a study that showed Asian Americans comprise about 5 percent of the country’s population yet only make up 0.3 percent of corporate officers, fewer than 1 percent of board members, and 2 percent of college presidents. Yang cites several reasons for the disproportionate representation of Asian Americans in leadership positions such as deference to authority, harmony, and humility (Adams). If we analyze the reasons cited by Yang, we realize that these traits are promoted in parenting styles such as authoritarian. If more and more Asian Americans are raised under authoritative parenting style, they will be more assertive and able to achieve higher representation in leadership positions in Corporate America.
It is clear that authoritative parenting style is the optimal style. It is not only because experts also recommend it but also because it makes more sense in today’s world than other parenting styles. It sets rules and guidelines for children but also encourage them to think and experiment. It seeks to influence children through power of persuasion rather than force. It also teaches them valuable social skills which are essential for success in the real world.
- Adams, Susan. Why Aren’t There More Asian-American Leaders? 11 May 2011. 16 October 2014
- Cherry, Kendra. Parenting Styles. 16 October 2014
- Foundations Counselling, Inc. Authoritative Parenting – A Style for Long Term Success. 16 October 2014
- Jackson, Christine, Donna J. Bee-Gates and Lisa Henriksen. “Authoritative Parenting, Child Competencies, and Initiation of Cigarette Smoking.” Health Education & Behavior April 1994: 103-116.
