The Internet is one of the most powerful inventions in the history of the world. It has changed the way children learn and teachers teach (Kemmis). It has allowed society to communicate in ways that are unique (Bala). More than that, it has stood as the embodiment of the entirety of human knowledge, replacing passed down stories and even books as the source for facts and functions (Levitin). With this in mind, if one wants to take advantage of what there is on the Internet, one has to spent significant amounts of time exploring, reading, and studying.
What if there was an invention that could allow a person to take advantage of the full knowledge of the Internet without having to spend the thousands of hours necessary to learn everything there was to learn? That invention might be called the Internet Knowledge Transfusion Machine. It would feature a hook up that would right into a person’s brain without causing any health problems. This is the sort of invention that could change the world, allowing an individual to get smarter, learn new languages, and become the absolute best person at the game of Jeopardy in the history of television. Understanding how to use this device is critical for those who want to follow down the path to knowing everything there is to know on the Internet.
The first step in building this machine would be to purchase a super computer. The computer must be more than just a typical Apple laptop. Rather, it would need to be five computers combined, all running different software programs. A person looking to follow down the path on this project would need to buy five computers that were all the same type and all featured more than eight gigabytes of memory. The computers should all come with brand new processors and be capable of perusing the Internet. Those computers would then be linked through the home network where the person would set up the super computer station. This would allow them to share information quickly and efficiently.
The next step would be to set up one of the computers as a master computer. The master computer would end up being the source of all knowledge from the Internet, where the processing power would send the file that would eventually be downloaded into the brain of the user. It does not matter which of the computers is set up as the master computer on the network. All that matters is that an individual choose the appropriate routing and designate one of the computers as a master computer.
The next step is to take the four computers that are not master computers and put each one on a different Wikipedia page. It does not matter which Wikipedia page is chosen for this. All that matters is that each computer is on one of the pages. This is the code that must be done in order to send all of the information on the Internet into a file to the master computer. Once all four computers are on a Wikipedia page, a person should press F5 on each of the four non-master computers at the same time. For this step, it may help to have a friend who is willing to lend two hands. When the F5 button is pressed on the four computers, this will begin an involved process where all of the knowledge of the Internet is downloaded into a single file and sent to the master computer.
The person should then cut a small incision behind their right ear. This is where the person will connect their master computer to their brain. Using a standard USB cord, the person should insert one end into the computer and the other end into the small incision hole that was just made. From there, the person should go to the master computer, open the file that was sent to the master computer, and hit the F5 button. This will begin the transfusion process. The last step is to simply wait. It will take roughly 30 minutes for all of the information to be downloaded into the brain. While the process is taking place, it is critical not to turn off any of the computers. It is also important not to fall asleep. Falling asleep as a person is akin to a computer falling asleep, and this will harm the process.
At the end of the 30 minute period, a person should remove the cord from the brain and take a shower. This will constitute a rebooting period, similar to what happens when a new program is downloaded onto a computer. When the person emerges from the shower, he or she should have the full power and knowledge of the Internet at their disposal to do with it what they please.