1. The response styles I use most often when helping others are prompting and paraphrasing. I believe these are successful styles when used together because prompting is a request for more information, while paraphrasing lets the communication partner know that both people are on the same page, and that there is a clear understanding of the conversation’s meaning (Hartley, 2002). I find prompting to be more effective than questioning because prompting allows the speaker to share relevant information, but also to remain on topic. While questioning can be effective in certain situations, questioning often requires a more direct response. In specific task-related circumstances where information needs to be specific, then questioning is an effective form; however, in conversations that are not specific to a task, prompting allows for a more natural flow. To increase my effectiveness as a helpful listener, I believe non-verbal cues, such as eye contact can be improved.
2. Paraphrasing is summarizing key points of a conversation using words or text that is different from the original language used. Paraphrasing is used during communication to ensure that the meaning is understood by both parties, while also reiterating relevant and important points (Weger et al., 2010). For instance, in a professional setting, there may be a meeting between colleagues discussing how to improve a marketing campaign. The entirety of the conversation might involve brainstorming, back and forth discussions, and theoretical discussions on marketing concepts. Some ideas will get thrown out and some will be used. Paraphrasing the conversation throughout allows both people to remain in sync. In social situations, paraphrasing can also signal attentive listening; if a friend spends a long time talking about an issue she is having, paraphrasing throughout will show her that the conversation is being followed while encouraging her to speak further.
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3. An interpersonal situation in which I failed to listen effectively occurred was when a friend had asked to borrow a book she needed for a class. She is often borrowing things, and usually she just comes over to pick up an object she needs to borrow. This time, however, she was unable to come over to my place, so she had asked if I could drop the book off at her place. The conversation when she asked to borrow the book occurred over lunch one day; I remember her asking for the book, but failed to remember her asking me to drop it off at her place. I did not forget entirely, because when she did remind me that she had asked me to drop it off, I remembered her doing so; I had just forgotten at that time. The factors that I would change for next time would be to simply be more attentive; I have a tendency sometimes to look like I am paying attention, but thinking about something else. I think paying more attention at the time would have allowed me to remember to drop off the book.
4. Technology can have a negative impact on listening effectiveness because there are many distractions. We are used to scrolling through social media feeds without giving much of a glance, or bothering to read the entirety of a post, and I think this can have a negative effect on our listening habits. Technology essentially shortens attention spans, as even when we are working on a computer, there are numerous distractions online. Technology, however, has allowed for more communication in some regards; texting and social media posts allows us to communicate with more people than ever before. While phones have been in existence for a long time, sending a quick text to say hello is much more realistic than calling someone to do the same. While listening effectiveness has perhaps been negatively impacted by technology due to shortened attention spans, digital forms of communication have also allowed us more opportunities to listen.
- Hartley, P. (2002). Interpersonal communication. Routledge.
- Weger Jr, H., Castle, G.R. and Emmett, M.C., 2010. Active listening in peer interviews: The influence of message paraphrasing on perceptions of listening skill. The Intl. Journal of Listening, 24(1), pp.34-49.
